MY VALUES – MY LIFE
Our beliefs about the world and our values have a direct impact on all areas of our lives.
We attain our values from different sources. In the beginning we learn our values from significant people in our lives, our parents, our carers, our teachers and so forth.
We are told to tell the truth, share our toys, and be considerate of others.
If we grow up in a religious background we will acquire some values through this, and as we go out into the world we will find that our peer’s values will also influence us.
As we get older we admire people in the public eye, be they celebrities, sports people, writers, scientists, artists; we like what they do and how they live, or have lived, their lives and we aspire to be the same.
Our values in essence become ingrained deeply within us, to a point where we often don’t even stop to consider them anymore. By being so unaware of our personal values we often lack self-awareness and become lost in the world. We tend to let life just happen, without stopping to consider how it fits with us as a person.
Why have we become so lacking in self awareness? What causes us to blindly rush in to situations without a thought for the future consequences?
It seems in today’s wonderful age of technology we have become used to “instant gratification.”
We can access information at the click of a button, enjoy all forms of visual and audio entertainment for pennies; contact our friends instantly wherever they are in the world. We can download instant applications on our phones, play games online, “virtually” exercise indoors, and travel the world on our laptops. The stream of immediate satisfaction through technology is exciting, it’s innovative and it’s wonderful!
On a parallel we are less happy, have more divorces, more family break downs, more mental health concerns, more financial extremes and more general discontent.
The question I ask is “Have we become instant gratification junkies?”
Have we become used to being spellbound by what is offered to us on a plate? Are we inclined to just grab at anything vaguely exciting because it will bring us instant happiness?
And have we translated that into our “way of being” in the world?
It seems as though we have become so used to seeking the next emotional buzz that we forget to stop, hit the pause button and consider whether this relationship, job, business venture, etc really “fits” with who we are?
Most of us can relate to that amazing dizzy heights, mind blowing, roller coaster feeling of meeting someone and “falling in love”. He or She is the one for me. Oh I am so happy. Because I am “in love”! This is the perfect relationship… – Is it?
What are that persons values? What are yours? Do your values match?
Once that initial (rollercoaster, honeymoon period) “buzz” has faded what are we left with? If our values don’t match its easy to get into a cycle of mutual blame because that person isn’t the person we want them to be? Is it really fair to blame someone because you didn’t take the time to check out the goods before you bought?
Then there is that well paying, high profile, job we chased after; the income, the property, the cars, the holidays etc. Fantastic!
There you are surrounded by all that material wealth, AND the money to fund all the technology you could want, so that you can feed your desire for yet more instant gratification.…
I’m not saying we shouldn’t all have true love, wealth and abundance in our lives – we all deserve it, but stop for a moment and make sure you and that job, person, financial investment, business opportunity etc, are a good match. Does the job itself bring you true happiness? Do you relate to and enjoy the tasks you perform each day at work? Do you relate to the people?
Ask anyone to tell you their values and they will state that they are kind, considerate, friendly etc.
If they are truly honest they may throw in a mention of “well I can be a bit of a perfectionist, a bit serious at times” etc.
The point is there are no RIGHT or WRONG values. There are just YOUR values. Sometimes they may not be working for you and it’s useful to take a look at them and see if things could be done in a more helpful way.
At the end of the day though, the most important thing is to stop and consider carefully before rushing in to anything. Take a look at your personal values before you enter a new venture of any sort.
If you are caught up in something right now and feeling discontent, take a look at your values, and see if it is time to make a change.
Counselling is a great way to take stock, to explore our values, to let go of past concerns and gain confidence in our true selves.
If you interested in some Counselling sessions, contact me at
By Marléne Shaw
