YOUR PERSONAL BELIEF MAP – HOW DOES IT IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE?
What Is A Belief?
A Belief is “something accepted as absolutely true and doest need to be proved.
For example :
When Winter comes it gets colder and when Summer comes it gets warmer
You have no proof of this, but general daily life has taught you that it seems very likely.
This is a rational belief, and most of us share it. In fact, the absence of this belief would probably mean we didn’t know how to dress appropriately to the weather!
Here are a couple of not so rational beliefs:
“I always know that I am going to be let down in a relationship.”
“Other people are better than me.”
We can all get caught up in these negative ways of thinking. We just KNOW they are true! Therapists call these beliefs “Mistaken Certainties”.
Here are some positive beliefs
“I know that I can succeed at what I am doing”.
“I am a likeable person”
A person holding these beliefs is much more likely to be content, loving, happy – and successful.
What Does Your Belief Map Look Like?
We have hundreds of self beliefs that go through our subconscious, and conscious mind on a daily basis. Our belief system is like a complicated map, brought about by our experiences and influences through life.
We experience our beliefs through thoughts. These thoughts drive our emotions, our feelings about ourselves and the world around us.
Our Belief Map can be so embedded within us that we don’t even recognise it.
Try the following exercises. Get a pen and paper handy.
- Write down Ten Important Things about you .Don’t think too hard and don’t spend more than 2 minutes on it.
For example
- I believe my looks are……..
- I believe my personality is……..
- I believe my health is
- I believe my friends are…
- I believe my intelligence is….
- Write down Ten Important Things about the world as you see it .Don’t think too hard and don’t spend more than 2 minutes on it. Leave a gap between the sentences
Some examples might be
- I believe good-looking people get more attention.
- I believe most people can’t be trusted.
- I believe most people are genuine.
We often associate our beliefs with major events in our lives and how that made us think about the world.
Make a list of a few major events in your life.
For example
- When someone close to me died, I decided God didn’t exist
- When I won the prize for the competition I realised I was clever.
- When my friend let me down I decided MOST people couldn’t be trusted
- When I was swimming with dolphins I realised there is alot more to the universe than going to work everyday
Challenge Your Mistaken Uncertainties – Create a New Belief Map
Now you have a list of your personal beliefs. YOUR PERSONAL BELIEFS are what make you do what you do in YOUR life and get what you get from YOUR life.
There’s an old saying
“You only get out of life what you put in”
……..and that includes your thoughts and beliefs, in fact that includes them in a BIG way!
If you think about those beliefs that are positive you will see how they have directly contributed to all the good things in your life, those things that you have achieved, be they great relationship, friends, career, business etc.
Likewise you can identify what holds you back in life, those “Mistaken Certainties” that block you from achieving what you want, whether that is better relationships, health, work, family etc.
Look again at your Mistaken Certainties. Ask yourself:
- Is this belief about something that has happened in the past and is completely out of date and irrelevant – why am I still carrying it around with me?
- Is this belief a complete over generalisation? Am I assuming ALL people behave in a certain way because of a few bad experiences?
- Is my belief more about fear of failure, than actual reality? I haven’t even tried to do what I want to achieve yet.
Consider your negative statements. Your Mistaken Certainties, are just that,
- mistaken.
Go back to your list of statements. – but this time follow each of them with statements such as
“I don’t have to carry this belief around with me if I CHOOSE not to”
“I deserve to be respected. I CHOOSE to be around people who truly respect me and treat me well.”
“What’s the point in not doing something because I might fail? I’m going to be nervous anyway – that’s human nature.
If it works GREAT
IF it doesn’t I’ve learned something and can move on.”
Once you have challenged these negative and mistaken beliefs you will find that your life starts to turn around. You are aware of them now and you will find yourself catching yourself thinking them.
Each time you catch yourself,
CHALLENGE that belief with a more positive one.
After a while your Belief Map will alter so that you have much more positivity in your life, feel more confident and see much improvement in what you desire and wish to achieve.
I hope this has been of some help to get you started on your path to more positive thinking.
If you would like to further explore your beliefs and the way they affect your life with some useful and fun exercises, I have a great workshop you can download here.
http://np-lifecounselling.com/worksheets.htm
We all need a little help sometimes. To seek help is a sign of bravery. If you feel you would benefit from some counselling sessions please do call or email me.
(+44) 01934 642976
©2009New Perspectives Counselling
